A man can be surrounded by people and feel completely alone. In fact, many are. We have colleagues, acquaintances, probably even family in the area. But do we have brothers? Men who know what we’re struggling with? Men praying for us? We’re in a male loneliness epidemic, and no one cares.
Who would notice if you stopped showing up? To training, to church, to work.
15% of men have 0 close friends. Zero. Not one. 5x more than in 1990. We all know the devil thrives on isolation, so why are we letting it happen? Generic advice tells us to “get out there.” That’s like telling a soldier to “just find a unit.”
You need three men, minimum. Three men who know your real situation, who would show up for you when you call, no matter the time. Three men who’ve seen you at your lowest and your worst. This is the minimum viable brotherhood.
The irony is, like finding your wife, finding your brothers doesn’t happen when you look for them. You’re not face to face, you’re shoulder to shoulder. Move towards God, and the right men will appear beside you, moving in the same direction.
“Building community” is fake. Community doesn’t form around itself, it forms around something greater.
If you don’t have a brother you’d feel comfortable calling when you hit rock bottom, it’s time to build brotherhood. Become a better man, and invite other men to come with you. Invite them to train, to share bread, to read what you’r reading.
Shared struggle builds brotherhood faster than shared fun. The gym is better than the club. A book is better than a game. Soon enough, the pursuit of virtue will lead to a group of men you’d actually call brothers.