*Marcian.*
*Hey, Marcian.*
*Quick question, Marcian.*
*Marcian, wait.*
*Yo, Marcian.*
*Marcian, you busy?*
*Marcian. Hey. Marcian.*
It’s good to be needed. A man has to have a purpose. He wakes up a little earlier than everyone else, shows up a little earlier than everyone else. He makes sure those extra tasks that slip through the cracks get done, even if he wasn’t asked. He’s there every day. Others found a reason not to be. He found a reason to be. Soon, people start to notice.
He becomes a regular fixture to them. That guy you can count on. Always enthusiastic. Always ready to help. *Maybe we should ask him to take care of this regularly*, they’ll say. *He’s seen it so often, he’ll know how to do it.* And he does. He’s happy to. Secretly, he was hoping to be needed. Some part of him always wonders if he’s worth anything, and now he knows for a fact.
He’s diligent with whatever he does for others. Maybe he lets a few of his own things slide, but that’s not as important as doing well in what he was asked to do. He makes it look easy. *Maybe we should ask him to do this other thing, too*, they’ll say. *He’s clearly handling the first thing well.* And he does. Who else can do it? Secretly, he’s not as excited about yet another thing to do.
Maybe he starts to feel the pressure. The constant barrage of his name again, and again, and yet again. The tasks are piling up. The things he does officially, and the things he does unofficially. Constantly needed. But he’s in too deep now; how could he quit? *Maybe we can ask him to do this one last thing*, they’ll say. *Surely, three things isn’t very much.* And he does. At this point, he’s too used to saying yes. Secretly, he’s hoping he’ll make a mistake, so they won’t keep asking for more. The respect he craved before becomes a nuisance.
His name becomes a duty. Every time he hears it, he braces for another ask. Another person who let things get so bad someone who doesn’t let things get bad has to step in and fix it.
But soon enough, one day, someone calls his name and he doesn’t respond. He’s not ignoring the voice. He just doesn’t recognize the name. It’s been a duty for so long, it stopped being a name at all.